one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
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