I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
