I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize