I need help removing her.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
