Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
