I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Randomize
