it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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