I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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