dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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