I feel great
I just peed on a car
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
