If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well I just put wine in my tea
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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