wakey wakey hands off snakey
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
