Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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