i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
