Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
