it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
