I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just pynch a tree in the face
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
