Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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