man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Boobs speak an international language.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
