We won't sleep together?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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