That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize