Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
