I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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