So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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