i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
