That's intense
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
