Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
