can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm always down for nudity.
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