I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
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