East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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