Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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