just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
