May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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