redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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