I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We left the knife in your bed.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
