I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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