who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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