stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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