Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Girls should come with a carfax report
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
