The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You're a waste of cheezeits
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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