I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
