'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
