I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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