so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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