Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
