I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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