I could make wine with my vomit
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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