I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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