Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
