what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
