I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
