I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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