i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
As shirtless as possible
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
