Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
