I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
