we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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