This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
