Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Someone shattered a urinal.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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