If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
