his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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