My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize