Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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