Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
