id be glad to
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
