i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize
