just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
